Hair, Hair, Hair!!!!

OK, so being that my mother is black and my father is white i have a very, very interesting hair texture. My hair is naturally very thick and soft, though it is soft, getting a comb threw my hair used to be a real event. my hair would straighten out easily enough when blown dry but any type of humidity and *POOF*! It would go right back to frizzy, curly, and tangled. My normal hair style was my mom braiding it up some type of way, she do this about once a week so about once a week I'd sit still anywhere from 5 to 6 hours and wait for the freedom to get up and walk around! Even though all i wanted was to get up and stretch it was always worth it when it was finished, people would often complement me or my mother on how beautiful my hair was. This went on until 4th grade, by that time i wanted straight hair.

I'm not sure what exactly made my mom decide to finally get my hair relaxed but I was SO glad. So we got it done (mistake #1). Not professionally (mistake #2). But i loved it! no more hours on washing blow drying then braiding!  It was very long and very straight, for a while. 

My mom continued on my relaxers herself  at home  and gradually over 4 years my hair went from straight, hanging well past my shoulders to damaged and short.  By 7th grade i was bitter about my semi straight uncooperative hair, and missing my braids. finally the summer before 8th grade i was fed up and for the first time i had my hair professionally relaxed and cut a great deal of it off. The results were great! I had a bob, my bangs were awesome (at the time) and my hair was just above my chin. So ever since then I've been getting my hair done by the same women, she does a great job and all the damage from home relaxers has been cut out of my head! about 2 1/2 years later and my hair is down hanging just a bit past my shoulders. But no matter  how straight or moisturized relaxed hair is, hair that's been treated with harsh chemicals is never really healthy and relaxed hair takes alot of work to maintane. Often times I'll get frustrated while straightening my hair  a wonder; Why can't my hair just be straight?? Well that's because I'm not white. Even though I've been fully aware of this my whole life, I've had that mentality that straight and or fine hair equates to beauty. This is the same  type of  thinking that causes people to ask; why if I'm half white do i not have "good hair" or "pretty eyes"? I used to answer because my mom is black and my dad is white, peoples response to my answer has always been the same; that's backwards. Backwards?? i always have felt  more than a little confused and stung by this statement. How can that be backwards? Even if it isn't usual that does not mean that its backwards.

All of these ridiculous things and mistakes made with my hair has left me feeling a little bitter. Bitter that i can't be who everyone assumes i should be. But why would i want to be? I asked myself that question and i realised i don't to be who people assume i should be because that would make me normal and to me, normal has a negative connotation. i don't want to be just like everyone else because wheres the fun in that? After thinking over this for a while and thinking more about my hair, i finally "manned up" and decided that i want to go natural.

I know its going to be easier said than done but I'm excited and ready to take this on!